Rethinking The Hillbilly Gunslinger

The whole, never-ending Brett Favre saga that has unfolded over the past six months has been simultaneously gripping and tiresome, evoking equal parts fascination and nausea. But, I must say, recent events in this drama have certainly made me rethink my position on Ol' Number Four.

Previously, my view of Favre was that he was a singularly talented, but none-too-bright, drug-addicted hick with little respect for the integrity of the game (as witnessed by his record-breaking flop for Michael Strahan). But now, after acting like an utter jackass for the better part of a month, he has somehow managed to maneuver the Packers organization into:

• A) Offering him twenty million dollars, spread out over the next ten years, to remain retired.
• B) Looking like the bad guys in this surreal little scenario by making said offer.

Essentially, the Packers told him publicly: We don't really want you anymore, but we don't want anyone else to have you, either. (Jeez, most guys only hear that sentiment from their wives!)

What can I say? Except, "Bravo, Mister Favre! True genius!" Now, if only I can find a way to finagle some unsuspecting corporate entity into tendering me the same deal...

But there is still a way for Favre to snatch defeat from the jaws of public-relations victory. He is said to currently be considering Green Bay's offer; if he were to accept it, it would further cement his image as a vicodin-addled boob with no respect for the game.

Of course, he'd still be getting $20,000,000.00 for doing nothing. Bastard.